Sharky Hot Dogs: The Wiener's Circle, Chicago

What do you mean, you don’t eat hot dogs?

Menu (a Sharky Awards perspective)

Note: The Weiner's Circle is not a fine-dining establishment. We serve good food, and we tell it like it is. We do not discriminate, but it is recommended that if you cry easily, are faint-hearted, or can’t take a good joke, you get your butt and your business outta here.

Vienna Red Hot: Vienna Beef or Red Hot Chicago Dog? What do you care?

Char Dog: A grilled hot dog (instead of a boiled one). Don’t ask which is better. It’s obvious.

Char Polish: AKA classic Chicago-Style dog. Includes Mustard, Relish, Onions (grilled or raw), Tomato, Celery Salt, and Sport Peppers. Only add ketchup if you’re a wimp.

Char Veggie Burger: What’s wrong with you? You’re at the friggin Weiner Circle!

Double Cheddarburger: You’re gonna feel like crap if you eat this whole thing, but it’s good going down.

Cheddar Fries: Don’t ask if they’re good. Of course they’re good. They’re French Fries covered in melted cheese—what could be bad?

Drinks: Cola, Diet Cola, Root Beer, Orange Soda, Lemonade. If you order diet after you already order a hot dog and cheese fries, we’re gonna make fun of you. So don’t do it.

Eat here if: Your skin is as thick as your appetite.

Don’t eat here if: You wear your heart on your sleeve… and are afraid of having it ripped off, Chicago-style